Yesterday I made a phone call to John to talk to him about something that was weighing heavy on my heart. He took the time to walk out of his office (cell in hand) and gave me his undivided attention. He provided his wisdom, listened intently, and gave me caring advice. One piece of his advice was to consult with a dear friend of ours. Not by coincidence, she had sent me a text while I spoke with John. I called her and we made a quick lunch date. Again, I had the undivided attention of an important person in my life. This morning I am still reflecting on that. I feel loved through quality time.
Not long ago, John and I read the book The 5 Love Languages. The book offers a way to understand the way in which you best receive love. I scored equally in Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. However, after reading the book and retaking the assessment, I have learned that Quality Time is really important to me. I feel loved when I have a person’s undivided attention. No television buzzing in the background, or my least favorite, having someone texting someone else while I’m sitting right there. I like eye contact and knowing that the person I am with sees me as important enough to put other things aside.
Yesterday proved my theory, which is…sometimes, assessments give us a false positive; we have to dig deeper for the correct result. Digging deeper showed I had a hidden Love Language. Had I told John and my friend what was on my heart then received a hug (Physical Touch) I don’t think it would have had the same effect as the Quality Time did. Having Quality Time with two people that really matter to me left me filled up. Having them speak Words of Affirmation while giving me their Quality Time was like hot fudge on the best sundae!
Knowing my Love Language helps me gauge why sometimes I feel low, and many times it’s because my tank needs filled with Quality Time. I’m sure everyone goes through those feelings when you need another person to "speak" your Love Language to you. When you know what your Language is, it becomes easier to seek out what you need to feel loved.
I’ve been missing my younger sister something awful this week. Florida is way too far away from Virginia. I’m longing for some Quality Time with her. I’m thankful for unlimited talk and text plans because it does lessen the ache. And, perhaps with the holidays growing nearer, we can plan a visit. Tonight I have plans to spend some Quality Time with one of my very best friends. I’m feeling loved already just having these plans made. I wish our plans involved jumping on a plane to fly to Florida together.
Keep in mind though that most people close to you don’t “speak the same language.” This means that in order for your spouse or best friend to feel love from you, you’ll need to speak their language. I’m fascinated by finding out a person’s Love Language because we all want to feel loved and give love to those we care about.
You can take the assessment online here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/. I should add though that reading about your language may also show that you have a false positive. :o)
I’d love to know what your Love Language is. Leave a comment after you take the assessment so I can better “love” you.
Thanks for reading.