There are things in my life that require courage, some more than others. When I think about going it alone, I’m frozen. I’m afraid. I’m at a loss for words that I need to flow from my heart and out of my mouth. My problems feel like mountains…I cannot climb them or move them. The peaks almost reach the sky, sometimes over the clouds, and I stand at the bottom wondering and questioning. Even in my questioning I sometimes think I have it figured out. I’m hard on myself. I have high expectations of myself.
My women’s group is doing a really cool study right now called Faithful, Abundant and True. While working through this week’s lesson I read some verses from Job. He was sort of a know it all, but God quickly reminded him that he didn’t know as much as he thought he did. A sort of “oh no you didn’t” moment fell over Job. God reminded Job that He is much bigger. Job didn’t call the sun to rise, make the mountains, or have the answers that God does. As I read this, I was reminded (again) that although what I am going through feels very significant to me; there is a HUGE world outside my small place. Now this isn’t to say that I am insignificant because I am not. But after reading, I was reminded (again) that I need to get quiet and listen. In The Message version it even says that Job responded to God by saying, “I’m ready to shut up and listen.” (Job 40:3-5).
I’m pretty sure that if I keep in mind that ratio of me to the world, my anxiousness will quiet. I’ll find the words I need to say and I will be given the courage I desire. Putting into perspective that my seemingly big problem isn’t all that big in the grand scheme of the world already takes it down a few levels. It’s not easy to do…not by a long shot.
This morning I was sitting at Panera by myself reading through this study. I had a table right beside the window—the glass was cold but the sun was warm. Two men were right outside the window talking. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but then suddenly they were praying together, just standing with their heads bowed. I’m sure that what they had been discussing over coffee at Panera is a mountain of their own. It was just the perspective I needed to see though, just exactly at the right moment. Funny how that happens….
Thanks for reading.