|“Tree Woman” © Susan Flynn|
I’m sitting down to write on the blog this morning. I haven’t posted on the blog since September. It’s not that I haven’t been writing because I have. I have been writing more in my journal and in margins of books I am reading. I’ve been collecting so much great information that it’s been difficult to hone in on one particular subject. I have scattered thoughts; and it’s difficult to stitch together ideas, even though there are common themes.
Some people call this writer's block. For me, that isn’t exactly what this has been. I’ve been going through a period of growth over the past few months. I’m experiencing some growing pains. I met a wise woman at a book club I went to yesterday. She was sharing about personal growth and compared herself to a small shrub. She said as a shrub she had been pruned so that new life would grow. She’s slowly growing into something bigger and stronger. She shared that at times the growth after the pruning is slow and delicate…buds form at an effortless rate. Flowers open up in a timely manner, small green leaves form and slowly unroll. It’s all very beautiful and feels good. She also shared that at other times a new, large branch just shoots out from her. She compared this growth as unexpected and painful. This new branch takes some getting used to.
As I listened to her words, tears filled my eyes. I could relate to her experience of growth…sometimes my own growth is slow and delicate and other times I have to work to find my balance again, to balance the new part of myself. Lately I feel a bigger branch has grown, but not unexpectedly. It’s the work of finding the balance again that is unexpected.
I’ve been posting my 30 Days of Thankfulness to my Facebook page. Even that has been difficult for me. Not because I am not grateful. I have SO much to be grateful for. I just find myself in deeper thoughts and am having a difficult time putting into words what is on my mind and in my heart. My internal processor has been working overtime.
So, today I think I’ll try to keep it simple. Simply stated, I am thankful for growth. However delicate or painful it may be. God has big plans for me! I am a tree that has small flowers blooming and a new big branch sticking out that needs some foliage to balance it out. I have exposed roots and even different seasons showing all at the same time. This oddness represents where I have been, where I have grown from—the “seasons” I have been through. If you see me trudge myself around in a different way than usual it’s just because I am trying to find my balance with this new, large branch. But, I am so grateful for my funkiness.
Thanks for reading.
*I found the amazing artwork by chance online. It perfectly shows how I see myself! I need my artsy sister to make me a rendition.